What is sexual integrity?
Want to stop or got caught having an affair or watching porn?
Have troubling sexual fantasies?
Have no desire to even think about sex?
Does shame engulf the wonders of sex?
It seems our culture is all over the place with what sex is.
Some say its just a physical act that "releases" tension.
Others say its a spiritual connection between two people.
Does sex have to be framed as a genital thing?
How do we deal with what Jesus was getting at in Matthew 5:28?
The answers are different for many people.
Sex is not only one of the biggest social issues today, it is also a very personal thing.
The question is, "are we living and doing what we think our beliefs are telling us"?
Do we even know what our beliefs are?
Do we have "Sexual Integrity"?
The physical act of sex reveals much of our internal process of connection with God and others.
Some people ask me why I use the term “sexual integrity” instead of “sexual addiction”.
From a secular perspective, sexual issues are only issues if they are causing problems at work or at home. Also, from a secular perspective, most sexual activity (including pornography) is accepted as “normal” unless it, interferes with "normal" daily activities, involves children, death, or is against one’s will. Even secular marriages are becoming openingly accepting of multiple sexual partners if both partners agree. From a secular perspective, people who struggle with watching porn or having multiple affairs at work or at home for hours while leaving other life activities undone or against agreed upon relationship parameters are considered “sexual addicts” (though there is no such diagnosis in the DSM). Many Christian author and therapist also use the term "sexual addict". They are treated just like any other “addict”. Some people do find a bit of relief when they identify themselves as a sexual addict. Interestingly, the secular field is rethinking the addiction model for sexual issues. They are reframing the problem as anxiety or depression. Which, this later paradigm is closer to the truth.
As a Christian, are we addicts? If we are what or Who are we addicted to? From a Christian perspective, the use of porn or multiple partners hits at the core of the Christian belief system. Some of those constructs are lust, covetous, and greed. But, there is more to sexual issues than what we view as lust, covetous, and greed. What is at the root of the lust, covetousness, or greed? What has happened to our bodies, soul, spirit, and our image of God. For a Christian, addressing these issues far outweighs simply changing an "addictive" behavior. There is a disconnect between what is desired and what is lived. The integrity of the person is split. This is why I call it sexual integrity.
Let's get started answering some of these questions and begin the relational healing process.
And oh - This isn't just a male issue.
Janet: (703) 999-5568
John: (703) 999-5567